Friday, November 25, 2011

Bachmann's Bio

I heard with amazement that Michele Bachmann had published an autobiography.  Mostly, I'm amazed that anybody gives a shit about her, but I'm also amazed that she has gotten away with raping the truth almost everytime she opens her piehole.  However, I'm very pleased that she has already been reduced to footnote status in the forthcoming election.

In the pantheon of shitty autobiographies, this ranks higher than Sarah Palin's witless prattle, but not by much.

The books title is Core Of Conviction: My Story.  With assistance from my industry sources, I have been able to unearth several book-jacket mock-ups that were considered before ultimately deciding upon the title.  Supposedly, these were the final four.








 I don't know about Core Of Conviction, but the others seem okay.




Monday, November 14, 2011

Coming Soon...



Before long, the CrankyBastard will be upon us.  Stay tuned.  Or go screw yourself.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

44% Of Traffic Fatalities Unbelted...

What about the other 56%?



In my home state of Minnesota, where we are constantly bombarded with lame-ass "Click It Or Ticket" TV commercials, where Law Enforcement agencies routinely hold "saturation" efforts to induce seat belt compliance, the StarTribune posted an article today that "44 Percent Of Crash Fatalities Were Unbelted."

First off, I'm on record as saying that when it comes to what transpires within my vehicle, the state should STFU and mind their own business [Big Brother, cough, cough].

Second, I hate the arrogantly absurd supposition that the state cares whether I die on the roads or not.  They don't, nor should they.  The reason Minnesota likes seat belt legislation, the reason they're "driving Minnesota toward zero traffic deaths," isn't because of some paternal interest in your dumb ass, it's simply financial: seat belt violations offer an easy road to revenue.  I hate it when government lies like that.

Years ago, I used to get ticketed for having car windows tinted too dark.  Cops always said that the law was there for my own safety.  Bullshit.  I routinely wore sunglasses darker than my windows.  The truth was, it was for the cops safety.  They don't like the idea of blindly approaching a vehicle where someone is inside loading a handgun to shoot them for being pricks.  I get that.  Just call it what it is and don't say it's for my safety.

Back to the 44 percent of crash fatalities.  By my Minnesota public school math, that means that 56 percent of crash fatalities were wearing a seat belt.  So, I should wear a seat belt to join the 56 percent?  I'm not sure a further examination of the facts isn't warranted.

"We've made great progress to improve the state's seat-belt use, yet in many parts of the state motorists are making the poor choice to travel unbelted, and they are paying the ultimate price for taking that risk," Donna Berger, acting director of the state's Office of Traffic Safety, said in a statement accompanying release of the data.

"Poor choice" Donna?  Wake up dear, your own statistics don't bear you out.

So what's the deal?  Are seat belts worth wearing?  I guess they are, if simply to avoid entering the revenue stream of "Click It Or Ticket."

A side note to all Law Enforcement Agencies in Minnesota: I'm sick of seeing your dumbass ads on TV reminding all us lowly citizens to obey the rules.  Perhaps you should stop your marketing efforts and concentrate and policing your own rank and file.  Have you paid attention to the newspapers this past year?  Your profession is liberally littered with crooked, corrupt members.  Worry about that, and not whether I'm wearing a seat belt.

Saturday, October 29, 2011